I know

sadly neglected here... been busy with other stuff... but...

sadly neglected my self
(story of my life)
gladly watched others
living a normal life
and wondering
why I don't want it
I have no answer yet
other than being greedy
I want more, of everything
I want you to notice me
I don't want you to think
that you can pick me up again
later
when your life isn't so hectic
but I hate to think
that you will never pick
me up again
and sometimes, like now,
it seems a distinct
possibility.
I know, I should find
a shred of self respect
tell myself, you're not worth it,
you only share the tiniest sliver
of yourself with me
when no-one else is looking
I know.
I watched some people
in that normal life and
because of you
I wondered if their life
was a lie, just like yours.
Like mine, I know.