I have 76 e-mails in my inbox from today titled "oh fuck fucking fuck"
With this level of attention, I don't feel the pain of his absent minded good wishes so much; I can rein in the level of neediness I display to him and of course it has obvious results. I withdraw, he pushes harder. He withdraws, yeah you guessed it, Pavlov's dogs, bitch in heat stuff.
I can imagine fucking someone else now. I haven't told him that, that someone else is throwing those switches in my mind, I want to hug that secret from him. I do imagine fucking someone else. But I still imagine telling him about it.
Oh fuck fucking fuck indeed.